Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving

Nothing summarizes my year of working toward hitting 30 better than these famed words by Charles Dickens:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Sure, he was referring to the French Revolution and grandiose things that changed the world. I'm just talking about 12 months of my life - but, hey, still applies. My 29th year was, in so many ways, completely devastating and heartbreaking - letting go of longtime hopes on the family front, battling the reemergence of longtime health problems, falling hard for someone and then being left puzzled by something lovely unraveled. Oh, and all of those came to a head at the same time. Overwhelming is an understatement! I literally cried every day for about six weeks during the worst of it. Basically everything between December and May is a hazy blur. I feel like I lost a season of my life.

But at the same time, all of that heartbreak came with immense illumination. I could never have become the stronger, more confident, more compassionate, more patient version of myself without wading through those experiences. More on that in #4.

And so, without further adieu, here's a recap of where I stand on each of my "30 by 30" goals:

1. Become a "True Aggie."
   
   
   DONE!!! Thank you, Patrick, darling. Taxes AND True Aggiedom all in one weekend? He's pretty amazing like that. :) We've been friends (and sometimes more) for almost a dozen years now, and I absolutely adore the guy. So glad we managed to make this happen before he moved out of state!
   
   
2. Visit five new states. Sadly, I failed on this one. I did add Georgia to the list, but that was all. Plenty of travels - Southern California, Seattle, Denver, Tetons, Yellowstone - but not much new territory covered.
   
   
3. Go on 30 dates.
   
   
   DONE!!! It was an amazing journey, too. More on that here. I've been on quite a few dates since then, too, and I love it! Dating is such a fun way to expand horizons and get to know people on a different level than in "the friend zone," even if you only go on a date or two with a person. Admittedly, it's taken me a long time to shake off the disappointment (and continuing confusion) of one of the guys, but I'm looking forward to diving into my new life in Orem, getting back out there, and making the most of my last year in the YSA world. (For you non-LDS folks, we get kicked out of singles congregations at 31. The pressure is on!)
   
   
4. Become my authentic self. DONE!!! This was, hands down, the biggest challenge on the list. It meant opening up a Pandora's box and working through the disappointments and heartbreak I've swept under the rug for a lifetime. But I stepped up to the challenge, and it's been the most rewarding - albeit heartbreaking - thing I've ever done. I've done well by myself where this is concerned. Am I perfect? No. But I'm doing my absolute best to be true to myself, and that's enough.
   
   Furthermore, I've learned that letting go, while disappointing, is sometimes all you can do. It's so, so, so vital for sanity's sake to recognize what you can and can't control, and to learn to be comfortable with the unknown. I'm still working on it, but I'm definitely better at it now than I was a year ago. And nothing is forever! Relationships - familial, friends, romantic - evolve and change. Goodness knows I've had enough people cycle in and out of my life at various times. So stepping away from a loved one for now doesn't mean they won't circle back later. The upside is that when they do circle back, it's because they realize your value. Chasing after them will never accomplish that. We all deserve to be loved and cherished by those we love and cherish. Reciprocity is sooooo important in all areas of life. Sometimes we'll give more than we take, but it should balance out in the aggregate.
   
   
5. Attend the temple at least 30 times.  DONE!!! I also started working my way through all the temples in Utah, and I've only got three left there (St. George, Monticello, and Oquirrh Mountain - although I have been to St. George and Oquirrh Mountain before, just not in this go-around).
   
   
6. Learn to ski. DONE!!! Well, attempted, at least. And I hated every minute of my miserable day on the slopes. But, hey, I did give it a try, at least.
   
   
7. Drive Route 66. Boo! Didn't happen. Honestly, I'm glad, because I've needed to have flexibility with my PTO this year. But I should be able to make this happen in the spring. I'm itching to hit the open road for a few weeks and explore!!!
   
   
8. Go on a cruise with my best friends. Nope. But at least Haas and I got to visit Tabitha in Georgia, which was lovely, and I now live 5-10 minutes from Rebecca (we both moved to Orem the same week!). I absolutely love these three women (only two pictured below - we need a more current quartet shot!). They are my foundation, and I am so ridiculously blessed to have them in my life! Hopefully we can get away for girls' weekends annually when their kids get a little older...
   
   
   
   
9. Be debt-free. Working on it - should be by 31.
   
   
10. Sew what? No, my sewing machine just kept gathering dust. But now that I have a craft room and a sewing table, this one should get in motion. After all, I've got a home to decorate now! Planning to make my own curtains and pillows for the living room.
    
    
11. Get at least one really, really good kiss.
    
    
    
    You'd think, right? 30+ dates with 20-something guys, and I should've managed at least ONE?! But I don't kiss quickly or outside the context of a relationship, True Aggie-ness excepted (and we were so down to business about it!). I did have good chemistry with one of the guys, but we didn't get past holding hands (awwwww... presh). So. Let's throw this on the list again.
    
    
12. Hike Mt. Washburn. Health problems sidelined me through much of the last year, and by the time my strength was back, I was too swamped to make time for these hikes. However, I will be accomplishing this one on my upcoming Idaho trip. [UPDATE: DONE!!! As my blistered feet can attest. Totally worth it, though. Veni, vidi, vici, folks. And guess who bought a National Parks pass?! Soooo excited!!!]
    
    
13. Hike the Y. See #12 - planning to go with Stacy soon, to make up for our failed attempt at graduation ages ago.
    
    
14. Hike Timp. See #12. My company goes every fall, so I figured I'd join in there, but it's not happening this year! So I'll have to get some friends to try this before it gets too cold.
    
    
15. Read 30 books. Hmmmm... close, but not quite. According to Goodreads, I read 20 books since last August. I might have missed reporting one or two in there, but still, I didn't quite hit 30. Darn!
    
    
16. Finish the Book of Mormon twice. Halfway there? I finished it once and am working on another go-around.
    
    
17. Get starstruck. Well... I downloaded a star app and did a good amount of stargazing this year, including enjoying the Perseid meteor shower in the middle of the night in the Tetons (one of the most exquisite celestial experiences of my life!). But I didn't study up on this like I'd wanted.
    
    
18. Lose 30 pounds. Boo, health problems! I didn't lose 30 more, but I did manage to maintain last summer's weight loss for the most part. I discovered the awesomeness of the paleo diet and really love how I feel when I'm skipping glutens and sugar - but it's hard to do that when you're crunched for time! Hoping to get back to that when things settle down in a few weeks.
    
    
19. Make time to WRITE. Nope. Heartbreak zaps all of my desire and sparkle to write. So beyond finishing a personal narrative from last summer, this didn't happen (although I did journal a bunch during the Mr.24-29 episode). And I'm still in repair, but hopefully I can make this a priority for my 30s in general. I love writing!!!
    
    
20. Just dance. Not as much as I'd like. I did discover yoga this year, so yay for that! I do best in a structured class environment, so I'm hoping to do zumba at the Orem Rec Center a bunch and get back in the swing of attending Ballet Blast, though. Feels sooooo good!
    
    
21. Sing, sing, sing.
    
    
    
    DONE!!! Ah! Finally! Another success. This one had a few success iterations, too - singing with Lehi Chorale last Christmas, taking voice lessons (if only for a little while), getting into the audition-only Mapleton Chorale for this year (we're a couple weeks into rehearsals, and I LOVE it!!!). Feels amazing to have choral singing back in my life again weekly. I quite love it.
    
    
22. Put my clothes away in the closet, not on the floor. DONE!!! Well... at least I was... and then I got close to moving and stopped caring, haha. But my new bedroom has so much space! I have a double closet that takes up the entire length of my room, complete with built-in shelves and whatnot. No excuse to not be on top of this.
    
    
23. Reinstate "Christa Dates." DONE!!! I go through busy-busy waves and need to get better/consistent with this, but one of the lessons learned with the health problems is to listen to my poor body and learn to slooooooow dooooooooown sometimes. So I've learned to make plans by myself, whether it be going to a movie, taking a canyon drive, or browsing the outlets in Park City. Extroverted as I am, that alone time is golden.
    
    
24. Stop snoozing. Bahahahaha... no. Such a hard habit to break! Still working on it...
    
    
25. Give up the Diet Pepsi once and for all. DONE!!! And then my life got insane this month with moving and traveling... and I got back on the bottle. Curses!!! I'll have to go through the withdrawal process all over again in a week, when I give it up again after Labor Day. Not a pretty sight, but I did feel better not needing the fix to wake up my brain.
    
    
26. Write in my journal weekly. Not so much - which is funny, because usually writing is sooooo therapeutic for me to process stuff. But I couldn't stand the thought of dealing with stuff in real time and then reliving it on paper. So... now that I'm back to good, I should get on top of this again.
    
    
27. Learn to poach an egg.
    
    
    DONE!!! My darling friend Emily was sweet enough to film a tutorial for me, and I did follow it step by step in order to make some amazing Eggs Benedict from scratch. So fun!!!
    
    
28. Make the most of my commute. DONE!!! I could've done this even more, but I did up my audiobooks and Church talk listening on the drive. It makes such a difference. Some of my favorites: the audio of Jacqueline Kennedy's interviews a few months after JFK's assassination, Tina Fey's Bossypants, and many a talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell.
    
    
29. Run a 5K. I did two 5Ks this year - Color Me Rad back in April, and then the Freedom Run in July - but health problems wiped me out from running and training as I'd hoped. Actually, it was when walking the color run left me flat on my back in bed for two days that I realized something was seriously wrong, healthwise. And now I'm fine! Really need to make this happen for the 30th year.
    
    
30. Channel my inner Annie Oakley. Nope, and I don't even have a good excuse other than a busy schedule and other priorities. Hopefully I can go shooting with my cousin this fall.

It's in the Stars

So... confession: I totally buy into astrology where it describes personality traits, largely because I fit my own so ridiculously perfectly. It's intriguing, and I always enjoy reading up on descriptions for friends, family, and - let's be honest - romantic prospects. It's all in the stars, I know.

Don't believe me? Here's what an August 30th baby's supposed to be, according to TLC - think it fits the bill?

Virgos born on August 30 have an overwhelming urge to express their individual identities. They have a great love of learning, travel, and the written word. They are known for their discriminating good taste and good looks and always appear well dressed in public. Although August 30 people seem calm, they're actually high-strung and excitable.

Friends and Lovers

People born on this date are sincere friends. They're extremely fun-loving and enjoy a vibrant social life. They are natural romantics who often fall in love with love. The tumult that characterizes their relationships is usually of a positive nature.

Children and Family

August 30 natives are often the beneficiaries of a fortunate upbringing. They are dearly loved by family. As parents, they are good at encouraging their little ones to express themselves as creatures who exist apart from their parents. This liberal approach brings children and parents together.

Health

People born on August 30 are not overly concerned with health and exercise. They have a great interest in food and make excellent cooks and nutritionists but are not averse to eating junk food. Though Virgo natives tend to be slim, August 30 people have a tendency to put on weight. They may favor competitive sports.

Career and Finances

People born on this date have a broad view of their world. They like to express their expansive personality through work. Because they think big, they have a tendency to spend big. Fortunately, they have a talent for financial management.

Dreams and Goals

August 30 natives have a positive attitude about life; setbacks and delays don't worry them. They are self-confident and can envision their success before it happens. They want to accomplish great things but also want to live well and in a worldly manner.

 Yup. Me to a tee!

PS: Ohmigosh, I'm 30!!! How did that happen?!? I really need to do a "30 by 30" recap, but with moving, celebrating, singing in choir, being busy at work, traveling, etc., it might be a little late. Ah, well... par for course in my world. 

Draper Debrief

I know, I know... when you hear "Draper," you think this - am I right?

When I think Draper, however, I think this:

Tonight is the last night I will for sure be sleeping in my darling lil' room on Hawthorne Hill Lane, and the reality that I will, in fact, be moving in less than 48 hours is setting in. It feels so surreal! Considering how thrilled I've been about the move, I didn't at all anticipate getting sentimental.

But it's me. Duh. Of COURSE I'm going to get all nostalgic and schmaltzy about it, because, hey, that's how I roll.

And so, without further adieu, here's a roundup of favorite Draper moments and things that I will most assuredly miss:

•  Panoramic views of the Salt Lake Valley, especially at night, when the valley - and its many temples - twinkled.
• Living so, so close to the Draper Temple - and enjoying how it came to feel like home. This is the temple in which I did so much work for my own family, and that alone will make it special in my heart forever.

• Being roommates with Christina, my best friend and No. 1 partner-in-crime for the better part of the last eight years. Late-night chats, planning our Christmas parties as only two communications professionals could (think objectives, strategies, branding, identity - yup. We're geeks.), discussing careers, politics, dating, and just about anything and everything under the sun. She's been a wonderful sounding board, especially because we're so different, she's able to open my eyes to points I wouldn't have seen otherwise. I'll miss her no-nonsense counsel and wise perspective, not to mention her just-plain-awesomeness. Oh, and her cookies. Have I mentioned her cookies? Yup. Total selling point.

• My ward, shockingly enough, and my stake. I didn't really connect with it too deeply, but that said, I really do like the people there. I may not have made a lot of lasting friendships from it, but I did get to meet some pretty awesome people, and I looked forward to seeing people each week with whom I may not cross paths again down the road. 
• Cooking in my kitchen! It is, hands down, the most spacious kitchen I've ever had, and it was in this kitchen that I went from being a good cook to becoming a true gourmand, stretching both my repertoire and technique. That space is so chock full of fun moments, from figuring out how to poach an egg or roll a stuffed pork tenderloin to doing A/B testing on everything from mini-French silk pies to oatmeal cookies, to making batch after batch of cookies for people I love. 
• Seeing the friends I did make on a weekly basis. A few people in that ward truly changed my life and touched my heart, reaching out to me in my hardest moments this year. To them, I will be forever grateful, and while I know we will stay in touch, I'll miss seeing their smiling faces so conveniently and frequently.

• Being a hop, skip, and jump away from downtown Salt Lake City, a place I dearly, dearly love.
• Meandering through the old neighborhoods to admire the gorgeous historic homes and appreciating the lovely architecture as well as the lives of the people who built them forever ago
• Gazing at the stars from Suncrest, pondering the beauty of the heavens.
• Calling my darling yellow townhouse home. It's been a good place, and I will forever cherish the memories associated with it - including the difficult ones, for they brought about so much growth and wisdom that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Thanks for the memories, Draper. Oh, well, it was swell while it lasted...

Moving Musings

Welp, friends, I'm solidly midway through Project: Create a Home. Saturday was spent painting until 1:30 a.m., and today's lunchtime was spent at Kwal Paints, getting the final colors that will go up tonight and Wednesday. (And as for what all the colors will be... you'll see in a big reveal. I'm part thrilled, part terrified that I'll hate it. At least walls can be repainted, right?)

This move is different from any I've had before, because, as previously mentioned, the space will be all MY OWN. The total independence is thrilling, but it's also daunting. No one else's opinion materially matters! Kinda crazy - more on that later. As for the move, I am definitely ready for it to be DONE. Looking forward to yet another vacay come Labor Day weekend.

Here are some random things I've realized while working on what is my fourth move in three years - and hopefully my final move until I either get married or purchase my old-maid pad (doesn't have nearly the same ring as "bachelor pad," does it?):

• My books are like my children. Seriously. Packing them last night, I wanted to hug each and every one. I adore books. Blame it on a childhood spending more time with The Baby-Sitters Club than my own peers, but I have a serious addiction/obsession with books, and that'll probably never go away. So that second bedroom'll be the craft room / office / library.
• It's astounding how many things I didn't know that I should know. Case in point: if your gas is shut off, there's a whole thing about switching some yellow tag and turning the appliances on. It was like the Questar woman was jabbering at me in a foreign language. Haven't a clue what that's all about - but apparently I need to learn if I'm to have hot water and a working stove. Amazing how much I keep having moments like this. It's like I'm finally moving into "real" adulthood.
  
• Colors are tricky. I grew up in the land of white walls, so... all this color stuff is new to me. I'm loving it, but... it's baffling. Like, what do you mean a blue can be warm? Choosing paint colors was the most stressful choice I've had to make in a while. (And yes, how blessed am I that paint color is my biggest concern? At least I can do something about it, unlike basically every other stressor on my plate these days...)
• Learn why something's awesome before using it. I spent a little more and bought Frog Tape instead of blue painter's tape because the employee at Home Depot recommended it. However, she failed to tell me that it's so great because, when wet, the tape's adhesive turns into a gel that fills in all the cracks, completely sealing your wall. (See the video here.) I found that out at the paint store today, after painting two entire rooms! It's my bad for not doing a little more research, and it may have worked its magic anyway - but still. Good reminder.
  
• A coat of paint can work wonders. In my office, one wall has built-in shelving, but the paint on it was poorly done and flaking. So, at the urging of my painting helpers, I freshened them up with a coat of white paint that was already in the hall closet (for touching up the trim). Doesn't it look amazing now?!

(Pardon the low-quality pics) I still need to do the actual shelves, but it's a start.

• Men really do see fewer colors than women. At least that's what the guy at the paint store told me. I thought that was just a joke, but apparently it's true. I mean, it can be learned - as evidenced by a bunch of male graphic designers with whom I work who've been my color consultants - but still. Thought that was interesting.

•  Life is sweeter when it's shared. As much as I enjoy my independence, this experience has made me keenly and painfully aware yet again of how awesome marriage would be when it's done well. It's overwhelming to do this alone! And not only that, but the whole experience would be so much more fun with someone else, making decisions together, delighting in the successes, laughing about the failures. So, on the bright side, it's reaffirmed how much I really do need to dive back into the dating scene post-move. I've avoided opening up to dating since the serious disappointment that came with Mr. 24-29 in the spring (BOY, that sucked! And now I get to see him weekly... not sure yet if that's good or bad), but you can't enjoy the good without risking the bad. I think I'm about ready to risk again. Wary as I am of getting burned again, the payoff will be worth it in the end - for the right person, at least. And you have to kiss some frogs along the path to Prince Charming, right?

Home Sweet Home

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned."
-- Maya Angelou 

The concept of home has been a tough one for me. It's been decades since I felt at home with family. Even before then, home was never a haven of security and love. At 17, I dove happily into a steady stream of roommate situations; as of today, I've shared 11 addresses with 40 gals in 12 years. Oh, and there are a few brief stints with relatives scattered in there, too. While the majority of those situations were happy - and even when not happy per se, they certainly weren't awful - in no situation was the space truly my own.

In a mere 11 days, that's all going to change.

As of August 25th, I will be a resident of Orem, Utah, renting a lovely two-bedroom condo a mere five minutes away from my office. To say I'm thrilled would be an understatement!!! Creating a beautiful home for myself has been the best thing possible after the heartache and struggle of the last year. I am beyond ready to have that tangible renewal and clean slate. New address, new ward, new memories, new possibilities...

...and new stuff. I don't own a single piece of living room furniture!!! It's been a ridiculously fun project to design my living space from scratch. Last night I bought my lovely couch:

and today I'll head to the condo at lunch to measure rooms. It's going to be a crazy couple of weeks, painting and packing and moving. My dear friend Lynsie, who is a wonderful interior designer, is coming over Saturday to help me with furniture placement, paint color, etc. I'd share a picture of what the place looks like now... but the paint color is awful, and a photo of the empty space won't do it justice. It'll need my TLC in the next few weeks to get it spiffed up for the move, but it's worth it. My landlord is awesome, and he's letting me do basically whatever I want with the space. I've never been so excited to deep-clean and paint in my life!!!

As for furnishings, I'm going to take my time and make it a long-range project, collecting piece by piece. I'm planning to do a lot of garage sale-ing and estate shopping, finding classic pieces with potential that I can upcycle and refresh into something fabulous. (Hooray for Pinterest and my soon-to-be craft room, right?)

I'll have to do a post after things are done, but for now, here's a sneak peek at some of the elements that will go into my new home sweet home:

The color palette, drawn from my favorite dress of the season (thank you, Banana Republic!)

The poster a local artist put together for me (thank you, Etsy!) - I've always wanted to hang this verse in my home.

And, last but not least...

The vintage typewriter from eBay that's my favorite purchase of the year! (I know it photographs blue, but the actual color is more green, like this shade.)

As for the rest... you'll just have to wait and see!