Gearing Up for Grandeur

How would you change your day-to-day life if everything you've dreamed of is just around the corner?

This is a thought that I've been chewing on a lot lately. After the blood, sweat, and tears of the last two years, including the aforementioned "physical therapy" phase, I'm finally able to breathe again and to enjoy the sweetness and magnificence that is my life—and with newly gained compassion, patience, insight, and wisdom.

And wonderfully sweet, exciting adventures lie so close in store, I can brush them with my fingertips!

But I've also had a jarring, eye-opening realization in the last week: what does it MEAN if these long-awaited blessings are just around the corner? Am I ready?

In my heart of hearts, I know that my life's on the brink of major, major changes once more. Remember how I felt this... and then this happened? (And events unfolded to make my life infinitely better than anything I could've imagined or realized?) I've gone through enough rounds of this to recognize the pattern.

Which means it's time to work with a laser-like focus on making weak things become strong.

Last week I read this Psychology Today article that examined why/how "bright girls, when given something to learn that was particularly foreign or complex, were quick to give up—and the higher the girls' IQ, the more likely they were to throw in the towel. In fact, the straight-A girls showed the most helpless responses... [because] more often than not, bright girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice."

Sigh.

This article hit me profoundly because that is the story of my life! I've always been very, very bright—and, ultimately, it's been detrimental. I have limited myself SO much by not pushing past the limits of my comfort zone and only playing to my strengths. If something doesn't come naturally to me, I just avoid it or brush it off: "I'm just terrible at sports." "I can't do math to save my life."

My eyes are so painfully opened and aware of my weaknesses that I've ignored for this very reason. There are certain things that I've just given into, more or less—knowing I could do better but settling for this complacent mediocrity because, to some degree, I guess I don't believe I can do it. Sad, sad, sad.

Thankfully, the article goes on to discuss what is my new goal: "No matter the ability—whether it's intelligence, creativity, self-control, charm, or athleticism—studies show them to be profoundly malleable. When it comes to mastering any skill, your experience, effort, and persistence matter a lot. So if you were a Bright Girl, it's time to toss out your (mistaken) belief about how ability works, embrace the fact that you can always improve, and reclaim the confidence to tackle any challenge that you lost so long ago."

Examples abound of friends who have persevered over major obstacles to achieve great things, or who push past their disdain of the work to enjoy the result that work inevitably brings, whether it be running or school work or health issues.

If they can do it, I can too.
Right? In theory?

So, here's to sucking it up, buckling down, and working on becoming amazing. Or, as Sara Bareilles puts it, being BRAVE.

There's Something to Be Said...

...for friends who know you well enough to know you'll be up early on a Saturday morning...

...for knowing that while you can't cure the problem, a Baz Luhrmann movie and Nutella ice cream can work wonders for morale...

...for running errands on Saturday morning with minimal makeup and undone hair and not caring one iota...

...for the infinite power of hope, even when hope is all you have to go on...

...for the beauty of a sunny spring day with its blossoms and wispy clouds to make you forget the bitterness of a long winter...

...for OWNING your life in all its imperfect glory...

...for being self-aware enough to know that what you want most is NOT what you need right now... and that delaying that gratification will be worth the wait, whereas fulfilling it now would be detrimental!

...for the friendships so deep that a mere raise of the eyebrow or simple, perfectly timed smile can result in doubled-over fits of laughter...

...for those reminders that you can't script your life, so just enjoy the ride, because what's for you won't pass you, even if the story takes time to play out...

...for the new people who cross your path and shake up your prejudices and preconceived notions...

...for the phenomenal way that seven musical notes can transport you to a world of emotions and locations and eras, all in how they're arranged (seriously, HOW does that work?!?!)...

...for movies, music, etc. that can instantly take you back decades... like so:

(SWOON. Right?! )

...for making the deliberate choice to seek happiness and help others do the same...

...for quality, good men, single or married, who remind me of what I'm waiting for (not perfection, of course, but goodness and a heart that's focused on the right things)...

...for maintaining perspective and balance, choosing to see challenges as opportunities and remembering the power in perception...

...for the warmth that fills my home when friends are there...

...for savoring life's sweetness in its simple, everyday moments...

...and for remembering what matters most:

Lost and Found

Looking back at 2012, one theme sticks out: loss.

In the course of the past year, I lost hope for relationships with key family members (including straight-up estrangements for most of the year), lost a chance at love (although, if we're being honest, I dodged a bullet with that one), lost my health for several months, my team lost the election (grrrr!!!), and, a few weeks ago, I lost my grandmother, who was my family, best friend, and primary example in life. Oh, and just today I got the news that my grandmother's children are selling her cabin in Island Park—my lifelong haven and refuge—so that's another devastating loss for 2012. Even happy things, like moving to my delightful condo, involved loss—losing the happiest home situation I've ever had, living with my best friend in a place filled with joy and warmth.

So to you, 2012, I have two words: Peace out!

Now, onto the beautiful blank state of 2013 (which I'm kicking off with a one-night stay at the Hotel Del Coronado—hello, bucket-list item!!!)

I've decided that this new year is going to be MY year. As devastating as loss can be, it brings a certain degree of liberation. The voids left by losses can be opportunities to create better, brighter, beautiful possibilities—and I'm going to make finding them the focus of this new year.

Specifically:

• Finding Health and Wealth—Two of my biggest Achilles' heels in life seem to be fitness and finances. Honestly, both stem from a shared root issue: a lack of self-discipline and delayed gratification. This year I plan to attack both with a vengeance!
• Finding Love—And by love, I broaden that scope beyond romance, because love is so much bigger than that. My life is filled with love, and yet too often I either discount available love because it's not the source I crave (i.e. friends instead of family), or I get frustrated with love offered because it's not exactly what I want from that particular individual. I need to work on accepting what love people offer—no more, no less—while trusting in God's goodness to provide what I do need, even when it comes from unexpected places. (And if an unexpected place does happen to be that tall, dark, handsome "Mormon prince" I've been awaiting... well... fabulous!)
• Finding Meaningful Ways to Serve—Rebuilding my broken heart necessitated an inward focus for much of 2012, but I finally feel like I can breathe again! The dust is settling, and with that, I really want to get outside of myself. The two consistent services I did in 2012 were family history and temple work, which are incredibly fulfilling and fabulous, so I want to get back to those. But above and beyond that, I want to serve those within my sphere in whatever way possible. I have so much love to give and need to find great outlets for it.
• Finding My Voice—I've had an idea for a book bouncing around in my brain for ages now, but I still needed to gain some experience in order to pull it off. I think the time has arrived to put pen to paper and up my Writer (with a capital W) street cred by writing my book.
• Finding Peace and Comfort in the Atonement—Christ's Atonement is magnificent and marvelous, but as much as I appreciate it, I still don't fully tap into its strength and power, especially as a source of infinite love, peace, and comfort. I struggle to trust what I can't see, and that's a flaw that really needs to fall away this year.
• Finding Serenity in Uncertainty—Whew, trust is a BIG struggle for me, quite possibly my biggest. I have such a hard time believing things will work out, even when I have so many case studies of when they did. So instead I expend sooooo much energy overthinking and overanalyzing in an attempt to make certainty out of something inherently uncertain. Well, that has GOT to stop, because I seriously become my own worst enemy in those instances! Here's to letting go and learning to TRUST wholeheartedly, no fear, no regrets.
• Finding the Hows—It was a glorious moment a few weeks ago to realize that I've done it! I have, in many ways, become the woman I always wanted to be. It's such a wonderful feeling. Life is so much like hiking, and as the dust's started to settle on 2012, I've been enjoying the breather and the vista, appreciating how far I've come. Now it's time to get up and get back to climbing, looking for the specific, material ways to take that "becoming who I want to be" to the next level. If you're not progressing, you're regressing, and I want to keep moving forward into beautiful, wonderful things.

Here's to the most marvelous, wonderful, fabulous year yet, friends!!! Hope this next year brings you so much joy and love, too.

Through Heaven's Eyes

"If a man lose ev'rything he owns, has he truly lost his worth? Or is it the beginning of a new and brighter birth?"


Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could see our lives through Heaven's eyes? That's something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and when the song from The Prince of Egypt popped up on my iTunes, I felt like I really should share it. I've been filled with introspection lately, both of growth within the past year and in reevaluating conclusions drawn about earlier situations in my life, and it's caused me to appreciate so deeply the path my entire 30 years have taken, heartbreaks especially included. I love looking back and seeing how much God's hand has been in the details of my life, even though I've been at a loss to make sense of what was going on in the moment, whether it was moving back to California for high school (which, at the time, seemed like an absolute death sentence!!!) or the series of events that led me to move back to Utah three years ago, something I'd SWORN I'd never do.

As Marilyn Monroe once wisely said, "Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together." That pretty much sums up the last year of my life. The most vital characteristics and virtues we need in life are shaped only through fiery trials, and while they're awful in the moment, the growth that comes out of it makes all the blood, sweat, and tears worthwhile. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 So, enjoy. I know that while we only see what's ahead of us, God truly is involved in the details of our lives, and we have to TRUST Him with everything in us that things can and will work out when the timing is right. What He has in store for us is so, so, so much greater than anything we could possibly imagine - and living life from a place of abundance rather than scarcity is a simply glorious way to be!

Through Heaven's Eyes

 A single thread in a tapestry
Through its color brightly shine
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design

And the stone that sits on the very top
Of the mountain's mighty face
Does it think it's more important
Than the stones that form the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life

Look at your life through heaven's eyes
Lai-la-lai...

A lake of gold in the desert sand
Is less than a cool fresh spring
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy
Is greater than the richest king
If a man lose ev'rything he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man
In wealth or strength or size?
In how much he gained or how much he gave?
The answer will come
The answer will come to him who tries
To look at his life through heaven's eyes

And that's why we share all we have with you
Though there's little to be found
When all you've got is nothing
There's a lot to go around

No life can escape being blown about
By the winds of change and chance
And though you never know all the steps
You must learn to join the dance
You must learn to join the dance
Lai-la-lai...

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys?
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through heaven's eyes
Look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through heaven's eyes

Grasping for Gratitude

Get it on Etsy here

Confession: Coming into November, the plethora of daily thankful posts on Facebook made me cringe. And roll my eyes.

Thankful? I thought, filled with grump and vinegar. Are you kidding me?! This has been the WORST year of my life. Heartbreaking family fallings-out, a disappointing relationship, health problems, watching a dear one's health speedily decline, and, on top of it all, moving into the Orem condo rental version of The Money Pit.

Needless to say, 2012 is a year I'll be happy to see come to an end.

But, honestly, I repent of that formerly shortsighted attitude. I have an amazing life, filled with wonderful blessings for which I am indeed grateful. And, admittedly, it seems like the best growth comes through the worst trials, and I will be closing out 2012 a far better woman than when I began it.

So, without further adieu, let me count my blessings:

• The gospel of Jesus Christ--I don't know where I would be without it! So grateful for the knowledge that Christ lives, that He died to save me from sins and sorrows, and that God is involved in the details of our lives. I'm also immensely grateful for the impressions and promptings that empower me to serve others or that give me a heads up which spares me from heartache down the road.
• Phenomenal friends--Seriously, I have the BEST friends in the world!!! It's funny; I honestly didn't have good friends until middle school, but I think all of those years spent without them has helped me make and keep wonderful friends because I never take them for granted. It's such a blessing to have so many of my nearest and dearest friends within an hour's drive, too--friends from high school, college, Orange County, and new ones from the last few years. It's even more fun seeing them all mix and mingle!
• Perspective--This year has led to a LOT of deep thinking, processing, and pondering. I love how we can see things more clearly with some distance, and I hope that I can parlay that perspective into better, wiser decisions and more selfless, aware actions in the future.
• Discovering new talents and hobbies--The good news? I learned how to make Grandma's delicious candies. The bad news? Ummm... I know how to make the candies that I got once a year as a treat... and now I can make them whenever. This could be DANGEROUS, folks!
• Music--Pretty sure there are few things I love more deeply than music, whether it's listening to the Utah Symphony play Rhapsody in Blue at Abravanel Hall, singing gorgeously arranged Christmas music with the Mapleton Chorale, discovering a new band in Provo's surprisingly awesome local music scene (from whence sprang Neon Trees and Imagine Dragons, I'll have you know!), or catching an impromptu jam session at sunset in Washington Square. Music has the most amazing ability to express and translate emotions and energy where words fall flat. I will be forever grateful that I was raised in a home where music was at the heart, and I hope I can share that passion as long as I live!
• Art in all its forms--Art is amazing!!! I love how people can capture the essence and beauty of life, translated into whatever medium they choose--film, canvas, stage, written page, and even culinary arts. Spending time in New York City last month was such a treat because we spent so much time steeped in the finest art America has to offer, from the Metropolitan Museum of Art's American Wing (which, yes, made my eyes get misty, I was so touched and overwhelmed to stand in such greatness!!!) and the MoMA to three Broadway shows, each so different from the others. It makes my heart sing!
• The ability to indulge my wanderlust--Speaking of NYC... I'm so grateful I've had the opportunity to travel so much in the last few years. It's been incredible!!! I average a trip for just about every month I've lived in Utah. Excessive? Perhaps. But I also know that as soon as I marry, it'll stop--my life and time will be for my family, and I wouldn't want to wander from home too far or often. But as long as I'm footloose and fancy free, I'll keep bouncing around from coast to coast: Seattle (x2), San Francisco, Denver (x4), Savannah and Atlanta, Southern California (x10+?), Island Park (too many times to count!), the Tetons, Capitol Reef, Glacier, Banff, Calgary, New York City, Washington D.C. (x2), Little Rock, Memphis and Nashville, North Carolina, Mount Vernon, Williamsburg--I've covered some serious distance in the last few years!!!
• My darling condo--Yes, even though it's been a headache to bring up to par, leading to some heated text-versations with my landlord... I absolutely adore my place!!! And not just because it's all my style or spacious for my things, but because it is my home. It feels beyond wonderful to have a place I can call that!
• My job--It has been the greatest blessing in my life these past few years!!! Words fall short to express just how grateful I am for it, especially considering how tenuous my career was in California. Property insurance software certainly wasn't what I envisioned as my life's work, but it's interesting, and I adore the people, the paycheck, and the values and focus of my company. Here's to more wonderful years ahead!
• My grandmother--Funny how knowing her time on this earth is waning makes me appreciate and value every moment with her all the more. Grandma Doris has been the familial foundation in my life, the constant source of unconditional love (albeit tough love at times) and the best example of selfless service and kindness I've ever seen. She'd give you the shirt off her back--my shoe collection can attest to that (we're the same size, and she's given me shoes when I've forgotten to bring more than flipflops in the rain many a time!). She's a truly amazing woman, and if I live to be a fraction of the woman she is, I will consider my life a success.
• Roots and wings in Utah Valley--I never, ever, ever wanted to end up here. And yet? I love it. I really, truly, honestly do... much as it pains me to admit that. :P Silly California girl pride! Provo has never been anything but good for my soul, from my life-changing 8th grade year at Farrer Middle School to four and a half glorious years as a BYU student to the last three years as a professional. It's funny how the lives overlap--visiting a current friend who lives around the corner from my 1996 home (or, heck, going to my friend Melody's a few weeks ago, only to realize she lives in my old house from summer 2004!!!), or going to classic movie screenings at the BYU library and walking down the stairs on which I sat and had my first post-college job interview, a phone call for a job at The Orange County Register while I was studying for my last set of finals. It may not be as glamorous as reporting about Laguna Beach or doing PR for Toshiba, but it fits well, and I am so, so, so happy here, it's a lil' bit ridiculous. Even with the snow.

Above all, I am deeply and profoundly grateful for my life, and that it didn't turn out as I wanted it to. The plan I had for myself wasn't nearly as amazing as the one God had in store for me. These last 12 1/2 years of adulthood have been filled with so many unanticipated adventures, both happy and heartbreaking, but I wouldn't trade any. Each provided experience that has shaped me into who I am today, and I can't wait to see what's in store in the years to come!

Love of My {Professional} Life

It is a wonderful feeling to realize just how in love you are with the one to whom you're married.

Or, in my case, the one by whom I am employed. 

This week is Founders Week here at my company, which is a weeklong celebration of our company's history, culture, values, and all those special things that make us who we are. Between that and working on some company-centric projects (including our new-and-improving careers page, in which I've tried to put our unique culture into words and write a top-10 list of why someone would want to join our team), I've been filled with absolute adoration for my job all over again. What a huge blessing it is! I get to spend my workweek with hundreds of amazing, talented, fun people, and I love expending my energy for a company that truly values its employees. From past experience, I know just how rare and quality that is.

I've said it before, but there really are a plethora of parallels between dating and career. Maybe I see them so much because that's where I place probably 90% of my energy and focus, but the list goes on and on -- interviewing for a job is like a first date, some jobs end because of dealbreakers (like all of my jobs in California -- they all had draws that led me to get involved, but each had major drawbacks that I couldn't handle long term), and it gets easy to look back longingly at the good times of the past while glossing over the frustrations (or vice versa, in the case of one straight-up abusive job that still makes me shudder to this day!).

But a marriage? Well, I don't have first-hand experience with that one in the relationship sense... but I do love finally having found my match in my career. It's funny -- at first glance, I wouldn't have expected my company to be such a perfect fit. I mean, a property insurance software company? In Utah Valley, of all places? Truth be told, I applied as a back up, just in case I didn't get the glamorous social media PR job in Salt Lake that I truly wanted. Of course, as time has gone passed, I've been SO glad I didn't get that PR job -- agency life is a grind, and I really prefer working in a collaborative, in-house environment. And how often do I hear that advice in dating?! "Say yes to dates even if you aren't sure you'll be a match because you never know what you'll find upon getting to know someone better." "I never would've thought my husband would be The One until we started dating -- he wasn't at all what I imagined I'd want, but he's everything I need." "Don't worry if it doesn't work out -- you'll end up with the right one eventually." (Reminds me of the time I was thrilled to finally have plans with a crush -- only to go on a blind date the weekend before, get totally smitten, and end up going from the crush's house to a second date with Mr. Weekend. The crush is a great guy, but he's not the perfect fit like the date was - and I don't know that I would've picked the date out of a lineup as a great match if we'd just met in a social setting instead of being set up.)

But I digress.

Careers are so much like long-term relationships, too, in that you really have to work for them. I mean, duh, you'll work at work -- but I'm talking more about honoring the commitment you've made. Life is not all rainbows and sunshine. There are tradeoffs and deficiencies at any job, just like how you'll inevitably marry someone imperfect because no one is perfect. But how wonderful it is to be able to work through those slumps and frustrations, to watch things improve (which can only happen when there's longevity to create perspective), and to develop a bond of trust that comes with patient perseverance. There are so many more lessons to be learned in working through the ups and downs than there are by hopping around, and the payoff is so rich. It's rewarding to feel security, to know that your efforts are appreciated, to have reciprocity. It fosters an environment in which you can really let your guard down and give your all instead of worrying about layoffs, backstabbers, condescending bosses, and a number of things I've dealt with at other jobs. Here I feel safe. My coworkers are my friends; I enjoy spending time with them on and off the clock. Some of them are among my closest friends and confidantes these days. I love our campus here so much that I didn't leave until dark last night -- after a mediocre date, I opted to lay out on our lawn and read a book in the beauty of twilight instead of driving home. It feels like home.

I enjoy my job thoroughly and love coming to work -- and that joy and security permeate the rest of my life. I am constantly amazed and humbled by how many doors have opened in my life, thanks to this job, and how many ways it's made me a better person. (And the same can be said for my career overall. Hard to believe I resented it for so many years!!! Even the worst experiences have made for some of the best lessons.) Had you told me three years ago that this is how things would pan out, I wouldn't have believed it -- or at least I wouldn't have believed I'd be as blissfully happy as I am. But here I am, grateful as can be for a wonderful match.

I only hope that someday I can find a guy who's as constant, appreciative, and inspirational as my company is. I can't imagine settling for anything less!

Thankful No. 10: Opposition

It never ceases to amaze me how the worst things in the world highlight all the best things, thanks to the contrast provided. Every cloud has a silver lining, right?

Without waxing too personal on the interwebs here, let's just say I'm locked in this weekend for a very difficult time, and it's dredging up a lot of reminders of why I've drawn certain boundaries in my life. And while it's really pretty heartbreaking and frustrating to have to mire through, at the same time, I am sooooo filled with gratitude for the many blessings that I do have. The contrast between my life now and my life before adulthood couldn't be more different. Things majorly lacked when I was a minor and didn't have control over my situation - but you know what? I have control now, and I've created something beautiful (with LOTS of help from a loving Heavenly Father and amazing friends and church leaders). There have been so many wonderful threads woven into the tapestry of my life, and it's really bizarre to now have the source of so much pain present in my beautiful life. The contrast between then and now is simply stunning.

Anyways. I don't think I take my amazing support system for granted, but this is just reminding me all over again just how blessed I am, and I am so grateful for it. There's nothing like a throwback to a horrible past to remind you of just how far you've come in the present. Life is good.

Meanwhile, please keep me in your prayers, friends. It's going to be a challenging weekend, and I need all the support and help I can get.

Thankful No. 9: Starry Skies

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream."

- Vincent van Gogh

Ohhhh, how I love starry skies. Next to the temple, there is nothing that makes me feel connected to my Heavenly Father and provides much-needed perspective more than gazing at the stars, if only for a few moments. Somehow I feel so complete when contemplating the immensity of the heavens. It's so close to my heart, it's hard to express, really.

Few things inspire more awe than considering that God, our Heavenly Father, created everything on our planet and on so many others - and yet, He knows how many hairs are on my head. He understands - and, furthermore, actually cares - about every little detail of my life, from the major issues of marriage and career to getting a good parking spot in Orange County on those nights when I was sooooo exhausted, getting home at 1 a.m. from a city council meeting. How is that even possible?! And yet, it's the case. That idea totally blows my mind!

While camping at Capitol Reef this summer, I ended up outside at 3 a.m. and was absolutely amazed by the beauty of the starry sky. It was more full than any sky I've ever seen before, even more so than in Island Park. It's one thing to know there are lots more stars than we usually see - it's something else altogether to actually see them, spanning the sky from horizon to horizon. How many stars do we miss every night because of city lights? Similarly, how many blessings from God do we not recognize on a daily basis, taking them for granted? How many impressions do we miss because of distractions from other sources?

Also, the stars are so constant, coming in their appointed times and seasons, so sure that travelers of old looked to them for direction. I may not need them to indicate north, south, east, or west, but I do look to them for reassurance that despite whatever might seem so huge in my life at the moment, it'll pass. How many lives have they seen, after all? It's like my good friend Orion in the sky. Seriously, I feel such comfort and peace when I see that constellation, remembering how stressful that senior year of college was - and yet, the best times were ahead of me. Furthermore, how much has my life changed for the good since I blogged that three years ago? How much will that continue to be the case throughout all eternity?

So, unlike van Gogh, I do know some things with certainty - namely, that God our Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ, watch over us and are intricately involved with the details and complexities of our lives, even with all the immensity of their creations. And it is that knowledge, more than anything, that leaves me dreaming at the sight of starry skies.

Thankful No. 8: The Sabbath

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy." - Exodus 20:8

Oh, how I love Sundays!!! With traveling, General Conference, and being sick, I've only had perhaps one normal Sunday in the last 5-6 weeks, and I have missed enjoying the Sabbath day. As the Lord taught in Mark 2:27, the Sabbath was made for man - not the other way around. It's so true! There is something so renewing and refreshing about setting aside one day a week to rest from our labors, to worship, and to focus on Jesus Christ and His glorious gospel.

Today I really enjoyed sleeping in (which is 9 a.m. to me, but hey, it's something!), taking time to look my Sunday best, meeting with fellow ward leaders to discuss the needs of those in our stewardships, and attending church, where I learned from a wonderful Relief Society lesson by my dear friend Stacey, taught about the power and blessings of fasting in Gospel Principles, partook of the sacrament, and was richly edified by some wonderful talks in Sacrament Meeting. Then I took a leisurely drive around Draper and past the temple instead of rushing home, and I've enjoyed taking it easy all evening, cooking dinner for my roommate and just enjoying home. Now I'm curled up on the couch, enjoying lovely piano music a la Christina while blogging - and, in a moment, I'll dig into the scriptures for yet more Sunday edification. It's lovely!

Keeping the Sabbath day holy is so often overlooked in the world today, but it's so important. In the rush of day-to-day living, there's nothing we need more than to stop, rest, and reconnect with God, ourselves, and our fellow man. How grateful I am for the blessings of the Sabbath day!

Thankful No. 7: Soup

Ahhhh, winter. As much as the shift toward cold weather leaves me... well... cold initially, I'm starting to embrace the chill for some of its perks. Namely, soup.

Soup is delicious! It's such a versatile, nourishing food category. This winter, a few coworkers and I are doing a weekly "soup swap" - one of us makes a pot of soup each week and divvies it up four ways, meaning that all winter long I'm getting a couple servings of homemade soup but only having to make soup once a month.

In other words, genius.

And, with that, I need to go whip up a batch of Baked Potato Soup a la Our Best Bites. TRUST me, you need to make this soup. Deliciousness!!!

Thankful No. 6: Draper

Moving to Utah was, hands down, one of the greatest decisions of my life, and settling down in Draper was one of the best choices since.

I absolutely adore where we live!!! Located in the southeast end of the Salt Lake valley, Draper is so ideal for our household. Christina and I both commute southward - with mine being the longest, a full half-hour at least each way - but it's totally worth it to live in this darling town, and to live in the Salt Lake valley as opposed to Utah County. Been there, done that, loved it as a BYU student, happy to work there - but I love living up in the Salt Lake area. It's awesome. We're up on the hill, and I adore the panoramic view of the valley I get every time I come home or leave the neighborhood, seeing all the way to downtown, seeing four temples in the valley, considering the sacrifices the pioneers made to settle here.

Draper is a pretty unique town, too. There's a ton of gorgeous new homes - but there are a lot of large lots with horses and gardens and the like. I love going on drives around Draper, exploring the neighborhoods nearby. I'm in love with the old, gingerbread-looking pioneer houses, intermingled with more recent homes. There's a rural edge that remains here, but not quite as rough and rural as Lehi is. It's polished yet rural and somehow really down to earth, I guess? It's funny, because Draper isn't far from Lehi, and they have a lot of similarities, but somehow they seem different. I could see myself staying in Draper, which isn't something I felt while living in Lehi.

More than anything, though, it's the people in Draper who I adore. Our ward is amazing, and I've been so impressed with the Draper natives I've met both in college and since living here now. They're just good people!!! I really enjoy our ward and the friends I've made here. It's funny, because I've lived in Draper for well over a year now, but it's only been since May that I started attending the ward, and it's only been in the last few months (since my play ended) that I've made the effort to explore my surroundings. I'm so glad I have, because the more I do, the more I fall in love with it here. It's such a wonderful place to live!

Thankful No. 5: Fabulous Friends

Seriously, I have the greatest friends in the world!!! I'm always in awe as to how I've been blessed with such a phenomenal support system of men and women who choose to be a part of my life. Most of my closest friends are people I've known for at least 5-10 years, and it's such a joy to spend time with them - and, in many cases, to develop friendships now with these little people who call my friends "Mom" and "Dad." I adore each of my friend's kids because they're awesome extensions of my friends.

I'm such an extrovert, but it takes me time to warm up and feel comfortable enough to completely be myself, no holds barred. These great friends not only know the real me - they love me for it! And I love them, too. They're such awesome individuals with so much wisdom and compassion to offer, and I'll be forever grateful for the influence they've had in my life. Hands down, each has helped me to become a better person, and I will forever be indebted to them for it.

Thankful No. 4: The Beach

You can take the girl out of California, but you can never take the California out of this girl. East Coast, West Coast, from Georgia to Seattle, I never feel more at home with the world than when I've got the sand between my toes and the surf dancing about my ankles. When thinking of nature's beauty, one usually thinks of forests and mountain grandeur, but for me, it's all about the beach.

Living in Orange County - and especially working in Laguna Beach - only served to solidify my lifelong adoration of the beach, one that dates back to childhood summer days spent at Newport Beach. To this day, there's nothing that makes me more giddy than combing the beach for seashells and feeling the water all around me, frolicking in the surf. I feel a little bad that my future children will miss out on growing up by the beach (since I refuse to move back to California ever), but I hope I can instill in them as much of a love of the beach as I have.

Thankful No. 3: Lifelong Learning

Oh man. I looooooove to learn. LOVE it. Like, pretty much my favorite thing on the planet is acquiring knowledge. It's so cool! There are a million things to learn in this world, and it seems like my curiosity is never satiated. Thankfully this "intellectual curiosity" is an asset, from what I've been told, because I can't help it. I look at a boomerang, and I want to know how the aborigines figured that out. What in its shape makes it return? Oh, and I am SUCH a sucker for historical plaques!!! I want to know what significant thing occurred in that location, and I love thinking about how different those people's lives were way back when (like while in Savannah, contemplating yellow fever epidemics and the Civil War).

I'm so grateful for the opportunities I've had as far as education is concerned. As early as first grade, school was my thing. It was where I felt I could achieve and shine, where I could be stretched beyond my comfort zone and excel. That feeling lasted throughout my undergrad and continues today, not only as I pursue my master's degree but also as I learn in my career. It's fun to improve and expand beyond the familiar.

I love, too, how learning is not limited to an educational institution or the quest for a degree. A tour of Utah State campus last month totally renewed my quest to dig and learn more about things beyond my comfort zone, like astronomy and physics, why things are the way they are. My area of expertise is soooo right-brained and centered on humanities, history, arts, language, etc. Math still doesn't hold a draw, but science sure does. Would I ever get a degree in it? Nope. But will I study on my own to learn about the heavens? You betcha!

Thankful No. 2: My Sister

When I was little, all I wanted was a sister. All I had in the way of siblings was my older brother, and we fought like cats and dogs - but I was always so, so sure that if I had a sister, things would be different.

When I was 14, I got my wish. Her name is Tessa.

My darling little sister is so awesome. We've been really close ever since she was teeny. I'll never forget the first time I held her in my arms. She was a few months old by the time I got to meet her, and I remember being so filled with love for this little person. In high school I stayed at my dad's on the weekends pretty often, and I always got sooooo excited to see Tessa - to play with her, to see what new things she'd learned. And the feeling was mutual! Her whole little body would get so tense with excitement, it was so cute! I loved every minute of being an older sister, getting to dote on her and teach her new things.

Well, now Miss Tessa is 14, and she doesn't need me to take care of her like I would during those babysitting weekends. Still, some things never change. Whenever I go home to California, I still get so thrilled to see Tessa, to see how she's changed as she grows up, to hear about her latest archery accomplishments (oh yes - she's a competitive archer with a whole slew of medals and wins in her proverbial quiver!). She's becoming such an awesome young woman, and I thoroughly enjoy spending time with her, having fun on our "sister dates." Doting on Tessa still comes so easily - she's my favorite family member to shop for, and I always see fun things that make me think of her. 

Most of all, I still love teaching her things, sharing with her what I've learned from experience, from hair-styling tips (since she inherited the same crazy curls from our dad) to dating advice to being confident and happy. Not sure how much of it sticks, but knowing I need to be an example to her has helped me become a better woman. How grateful I am for my darling little sister, and I look forward to many more adventures as she moves into adulthood in just a few short years!

Thankful No. 1: Words

I know this comes a day late for the one-a-day dealio, but I knew if I busted out my laptop last night when I composed this in my mind, it'd be game over for my bedtime! So, here we go...

One of the biggest blessings in my life are words. That might sound funny, right? But as a writer, words are so central to everything I do. Language is like air or water - it's so ubiquitous that it can be easy to take for granted.

But think of all the blessings we get from the ability to communicate!!! I am so profoundly grateful for this medium with which I can translate feelings and thoughts and other intangible concepts into something that others can understand. Anyone who's ever attempted to communicate with someone who doesn't speak the same language can appreciate how frustrating it is, as I discovered while coming across international travelers galore in Banff - you know what you want to say, but they can't understand you, nor can you understand them, and it all devolves into rough hand gestures.

And smiles, since smiles are universal. You don't need words for that, at least.

The English language only has 26 letters, but the possibilities that come from combinations thereof seem nearly endless. It's amazing how each person has his or her own unique voice that comes across in the written word. It's one of the ways scholars have proven that the Book of Mormon has multiple authors - the different writers have their own patterns that come across through words, millennia after those words were written.

Just last night I showed my roommate an email I'd written a friend, and she busted out laughing. "Only you could get away with some of these sentences, Christa," she said. Puzzled (and slightly embarrassed), I asked what she meant - and then she read aloud what I'd written (in describing Fictionist, my fav band, to a friend):

Their sound has been described as "space age rock" - I love it. It's really fresh but not so unique that it's unmarketable on a broader scale. And the guys in the band are all really, really gifted musicians (and all-around cool people). That innate musicality also helps set their sound apart from so much of what's out there.

 Yup. That's me. But don't you just love how words can put down in a tangible form that intangible essence that is a person? It's sooooo cool!!!

Seriously. Words are awesome. Love, love, love them.

A Thankful Heart

Oh, Thanksgiving.

I love, love, love Thanksgiving! What a wonderful thought - a day devoted to focusing on our blessings, expressing gratitude and sharing delicious food with the ones dearest to our hearts. Seriously, what's not to love?!

Well, I have much, much, much for which I'm grateful: a nice roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear (and cute ones at that, or so I'd like to think), the privilege of living in the greatest nation on God's green earth, amazing friends who deeply enrich my life, a wonderful family - especially my dad and stepmom, who are such fantastic examples to me! - and, above all, a knowledge that God lives and that His son Jesus Christ gave His life that we might live with Him forever, and the agency to make the decisions that will dictate how my life goes, for better or worse. Mostly for better, I'd like to think!

Anyways... I'd feel so remiss to not do a good Thanksgiving post, but words are coming up short for truly expressing the feelings of my heart.

Uh, I'm a professional writer - this is a rare feeling for me!

Goodness knows I ALWAYS have something to say, right? ;)

So, let me share with you the words of one faaaaaaar wiser than myself: the incomparable George Washington. My brilliant stepmom shared this at dinner tonight, and I wanted to pass along this great piece of our history. Enjoy!

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George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness":

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789.

A Response to Your Responses

Hi, friends!

I started to post this as a comment in response to those left on my last post, but it got kind of long, so I'm making a new post of it.

Thanks, you guys, for your positive feedback. Chris, I think you're right - now that the blog's private, I feel much more willing to post with no holds barred - after all, the readers are all people I've invited into my little world, and, with that, I feel safe to bare my soul. Perhaps I'll go public again eventually... but, for now, I'm enjoying this haven. I know it's a pain for so many Google Reader fans, and I appreciate you hanging in there with me.

Brittny, I can't even explain it, but I feel like my soul is reawakening - the summer after we were roommates, I slipped into a funk, facing new health issues and realizing that my beloved BYU days were coming to an end, and I just shriveled more and more with each additional blow [living with my parents, not ending up with That Guy (the BYU folks will know to whom I refer - it's no one from California... lest rumors start, haha), losing jobs, losing friends]. Honestly, I haven't been myself since. I've been varying phantom shadows of myself, but I just now feel like my feet are under me once more, and I'm finally coming into my own. (FINALLY!!!!!!) I know you can relate. :)

Speaking of, my apologies to anyone who's met me in the last four years. The Christa you've known is such a watered-down imitation of the real deal - but that's changing, day by day, so keep posted...

A Quick Note of Gratitude

Life is amazing!

For the last few weeks, I have been in the grumpiest funk, and my attitude of gratitude has definitely been lacking lately - my apologies for the whinefest.

Today I really had a wonderful day (despite all kinds of hay fever craziness that makes me sound like a frog, haha). I was just glancing over Facebook and catching up on friends' blogs, and - WHAM! - it just hit me like a ton of bricks how amazingly blessed I am. I've got a job that I love and enjoy, so many wonderful friends who are fantastic examples to me, a phenomenal ward (through which I've made many of those wonderful friends), a good family and so, so many happy memories from college and beyond.

So, thanks for being a part of that! Life is good.

And speaking of wham moments - the cough syrup just kicked in, and I'm feeling all loopy and funky. Woot woot for codeine. I'd better hit the hay. ;)