Lost and Found

Looking back at 2012, one theme sticks out: loss.

In the course of the past year, I lost hope for relationships with key family members (including straight-up estrangements for most of the year), lost a chance at love (although, if we're being honest, I dodged a bullet with that one), lost my health for several months, my team lost the election (grrrr!!!), and, a few weeks ago, I lost my grandmother, who was my family, best friend, and primary example in life. Oh, and just today I got the news that my grandmother's children are selling her cabin in Island Park—my lifelong haven and refuge—so that's another devastating loss for 2012. Even happy things, like moving to my delightful condo, involved loss—losing the happiest home situation I've ever had, living with my best friend in a place filled with joy and warmth.

So to you, 2012, I have two words: Peace out!

Now, onto the beautiful blank state of 2013 (which I'm kicking off with a one-night stay at the Hotel Del Coronado—hello, bucket-list item!!!)

I've decided that this new year is going to be MY year. As devastating as loss can be, it brings a certain degree of liberation. The voids left by losses can be opportunities to create better, brighter, beautiful possibilities—and I'm going to make finding them the focus of this new year.

Specifically:

• Finding Health and Wealth—Two of my biggest Achilles' heels in life seem to be fitness and finances. Honestly, both stem from a shared root issue: a lack of self-discipline and delayed gratification. This year I plan to attack both with a vengeance!
• Finding Love—And by love, I broaden that scope beyond romance, because love is so much bigger than that. My life is filled with love, and yet too often I either discount available love because it's not the source I crave (i.e. friends instead of family), or I get frustrated with love offered because it's not exactly what I want from that particular individual. I need to work on accepting what love people offer—no more, no less—while trusting in God's goodness to provide what I do need, even when it comes from unexpected places. (And if an unexpected place does happen to be that tall, dark, handsome "Mormon prince" I've been awaiting... well... fabulous!)
• Finding Meaningful Ways to Serve—Rebuilding my broken heart necessitated an inward focus for much of 2012, but I finally feel like I can breathe again! The dust is settling, and with that, I really want to get outside of myself. The two consistent services I did in 2012 were family history and temple work, which are incredibly fulfilling and fabulous, so I want to get back to those. But above and beyond that, I want to serve those within my sphere in whatever way possible. I have so much love to give and need to find great outlets for it.
• Finding My Voice—I've had an idea for a book bouncing around in my brain for ages now, but I still needed to gain some experience in order to pull it off. I think the time has arrived to put pen to paper and up my Writer (with a capital W) street cred by writing my book.
• Finding Peace and Comfort in the Atonement—Christ's Atonement is magnificent and marvelous, but as much as I appreciate it, I still don't fully tap into its strength and power, especially as a source of infinite love, peace, and comfort. I struggle to trust what I can't see, and that's a flaw that really needs to fall away this year.
• Finding Serenity in Uncertainty—Whew, trust is a BIG struggle for me, quite possibly my biggest. I have such a hard time believing things will work out, even when I have so many case studies of when they did. So instead I expend sooooo much energy overthinking and overanalyzing in an attempt to make certainty out of something inherently uncertain. Well, that has GOT to stop, because I seriously become my own worst enemy in those instances! Here's to letting go and learning to TRUST wholeheartedly, no fear, no regrets.
• Finding the Hows—It was a glorious moment a few weeks ago to realize that I've done it! I have, in many ways, become the woman I always wanted to be. It's such a wonderful feeling. Life is so much like hiking, and as the dust's started to settle on 2012, I've been enjoying the breather and the vista, appreciating how far I've come. Now it's time to get up and get back to climbing, looking for the specific, material ways to take that "becoming who I want to be" to the next level. If you're not progressing, you're regressing, and I want to keep moving forward into beautiful, wonderful things.

Here's to the most marvelous, wonderful, fabulous year yet, friends!!! Hope this next year brings you so much joy and love, too.

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving

Nothing summarizes my year of working toward hitting 30 better than these famed words by Charles Dickens:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Sure, he was referring to the French Revolution and grandiose things that changed the world. I'm just talking about 12 months of my life - but, hey, still applies. My 29th year was, in so many ways, completely devastating and heartbreaking - letting go of longtime hopes on the family front, battling the reemergence of longtime health problems, falling hard for someone and then being left puzzled by something lovely unraveled. Oh, and all of those came to a head at the same time. Overwhelming is an understatement! I literally cried every day for about six weeks during the worst of it. Basically everything between December and May is a hazy blur. I feel like I lost a season of my life.

But at the same time, all of that heartbreak came with immense illumination. I could never have become the stronger, more confident, more compassionate, more patient version of myself without wading through those experiences. More on that in #4.

And so, without further adieu, here's a recap of where I stand on each of my "30 by 30" goals:

1. Become a "True Aggie."
   
   
   DONE!!! Thank you, Patrick, darling. Taxes AND True Aggiedom all in one weekend? He's pretty amazing like that. :) We've been friends (and sometimes more) for almost a dozen years now, and I absolutely adore the guy. So glad we managed to make this happen before he moved out of state!
   
   
2. Visit five new states. Sadly, I failed on this one. I did add Georgia to the list, but that was all. Plenty of travels - Southern California, Seattle, Denver, Tetons, Yellowstone - but not much new territory covered.
   
   
3. Go on 30 dates.
   
   
   DONE!!! It was an amazing journey, too. More on that here. I've been on quite a few dates since then, too, and I love it! Dating is such a fun way to expand horizons and get to know people on a different level than in "the friend zone," even if you only go on a date or two with a person. Admittedly, it's taken me a long time to shake off the disappointment (and continuing confusion) of one of the guys, but I'm looking forward to diving into my new life in Orem, getting back out there, and making the most of my last year in the YSA world. (For you non-LDS folks, we get kicked out of singles congregations at 31. The pressure is on!)
   
   
4. Become my authentic self. DONE!!! This was, hands down, the biggest challenge on the list. It meant opening up a Pandora's box and working through the disappointments and heartbreak I've swept under the rug for a lifetime. But I stepped up to the challenge, and it's been the most rewarding - albeit heartbreaking - thing I've ever done. I've done well by myself where this is concerned. Am I perfect? No. But I'm doing my absolute best to be true to myself, and that's enough.
   
   Furthermore, I've learned that letting go, while disappointing, is sometimes all you can do. It's so, so, so vital for sanity's sake to recognize what you can and can't control, and to learn to be comfortable with the unknown. I'm still working on it, but I'm definitely better at it now than I was a year ago. And nothing is forever! Relationships - familial, friends, romantic - evolve and change. Goodness knows I've had enough people cycle in and out of my life at various times. So stepping away from a loved one for now doesn't mean they won't circle back later. The upside is that when they do circle back, it's because they realize your value. Chasing after them will never accomplish that. We all deserve to be loved and cherished by those we love and cherish. Reciprocity is sooooo important in all areas of life. Sometimes we'll give more than we take, but it should balance out in the aggregate.
   
   
5. Attend the temple at least 30 times.  DONE!!! I also started working my way through all the temples in Utah, and I've only got three left there (St. George, Monticello, and Oquirrh Mountain - although I have been to St. George and Oquirrh Mountain before, just not in this go-around).
   
   
6. Learn to ski. DONE!!! Well, attempted, at least. And I hated every minute of my miserable day on the slopes. But, hey, I did give it a try, at least.
   
   
7. Drive Route 66. Boo! Didn't happen. Honestly, I'm glad, because I've needed to have flexibility with my PTO this year. But I should be able to make this happen in the spring. I'm itching to hit the open road for a few weeks and explore!!!
   
   
8. Go on a cruise with my best friends. Nope. But at least Haas and I got to visit Tabitha in Georgia, which was lovely, and I now live 5-10 minutes from Rebecca (we both moved to Orem the same week!). I absolutely love these three women (only two pictured below - we need a more current quartet shot!). They are my foundation, and I am so ridiculously blessed to have them in my life! Hopefully we can get away for girls' weekends annually when their kids get a little older...
   
   
   
   
9. Be debt-free. Working on it - should be by 31.
   
   
10. Sew what? No, my sewing machine just kept gathering dust. But now that I have a craft room and a sewing table, this one should get in motion. After all, I've got a home to decorate now! Planning to make my own curtains and pillows for the living room.
    
    
11. Get at least one really, really good kiss.
    
    
    
    You'd think, right? 30+ dates with 20-something guys, and I should've managed at least ONE?! But I don't kiss quickly or outside the context of a relationship, True Aggie-ness excepted (and we were so down to business about it!). I did have good chemistry with one of the guys, but we didn't get past holding hands (awwwww... presh). So. Let's throw this on the list again.
    
    
12. Hike Mt. Washburn. Health problems sidelined me through much of the last year, and by the time my strength was back, I was too swamped to make time for these hikes. However, I will be accomplishing this one on my upcoming Idaho trip. [UPDATE: DONE!!! As my blistered feet can attest. Totally worth it, though. Veni, vidi, vici, folks. And guess who bought a National Parks pass?! Soooo excited!!!]
    
    
13. Hike the Y. See #12 - planning to go with Stacy soon, to make up for our failed attempt at graduation ages ago.
    
    
14. Hike Timp. See #12. My company goes every fall, so I figured I'd join in there, but it's not happening this year! So I'll have to get some friends to try this before it gets too cold.
    
    
15. Read 30 books. Hmmmm... close, but not quite. According to Goodreads, I read 20 books since last August. I might have missed reporting one or two in there, but still, I didn't quite hit 30. Darn!
    
    
16. Finish the Book of Mormon twice. Halfway there? I finished it once and am working on another go-around.
    
    
17. Get starstruck. Well... I downloaded a star app and did a good amount of stargazing this year, including enjoying the Perseid meteor shower in the middle of the night in the Tetons (one of the most exquisite celestial experiences of my life!). But I didn't study up on this like I'd wanted.
    
    
18. Lose 30 pounds. Boo, health problems! I didn't lose 30 more, but I did manage to maintain last summer's weight loss for the most part. I discovered the awesomeness of the paleo diet and really love how I feel when I'm skipping glutens and sugar - but it's hard to do that when you're crunched for time! Hoping to get back to that when things settle down in a few weeks.
    
    
19. Make time to WRITE. Nope. Heartbreak zaps all of my desire and sparkle to write. So beyond finishing a personal narrative from last summer, this didn't happen (although I did journal a bunch during the Mr.24-29 episode). And I'm still in repair, but hopefully I can make this a priority for my 30s in general. I love writing!!!
    
    
20. Just dance. Not as much as I'd like. I did discover yoga this year, so yay for that! I do best in a structured class environment, so I'm hoping to do zumba at the Orem Rec Center a bunch and get back in the swing of attending Ballet Blast, though. Feels sooooo good!
    
    
21. Sing, sing, sing.
    
    
    
    DONE!!! Ah! Finally! Another success. This one had a few success iterations, too - singing with Lehi Chorale last Christmas, taking voice lessons (if only for a little while), getting into the audition-only Mapleton Chorale for this year (we're a couple weeks into rehearsals, and I LOVE it!!!). Feels amazing to have choral singing back in my life again weekly. I quite love it.
    
    
22. Put my clothes away in the closet, not on the floor. DONE!!! Well... at least I was... and then I got close to moving and stopped caring, haha. But my new bedroom has so much space! I have a double closet that takes up the entire length of my room, complete with built-in shelves and whatnot. No excuse to not be on top of this.
    
    
23. Reinstate "Christa Dates." DONE!!! I go through busy-busy waves and need to get better/consistent with this, but one of the lessons learned with the health problems is to listen to my poor body and learn to slooooooow dooooooooown sometimes. So I've learned to make plans by myself, whether it be going to a movie, taking a canyon drive, or browsing the outlets in Park City. Extroverted as I am, that alone time is golden.
    
    
24. Stop snoozing. Bahahahaha... no. Such a hard habit to break! Still working on it...
    
    
25. Give up the Diet Pepsi once and for all. DONE!!! And then my life got insane this month with moving and traveling... and I got back on the bottle. Curses!!! I'll have to go through the withdrawal process all over again in a week, when I give it up again after Labor Day. Not a pretty sight, but I did feel better not needing the fix to wake up my brain.
    
    
26. Write in my journal weekly. Not so much - which is funny, because usually writing is sooooo therapeutic for me to process stuff. But I couldn't stand the thought of dealing with stuff in real time and then reliving it on paper. So... now that I'm back to good, I should get on top of this again.
    
    
27. Learn to poach an egg.
    
    
    DONE!!! My darling friend Emily was sweet enough to film a tutorial for me, and I did follow it step by step in order to make some amazing Eggs Benedict from scratch. So fun!!!
    
    
28. Make the most of my commute. DONE!!! I could've done this even more, but I did up my audiobooks and Church talk listening on the drive. It makes such a difference. Some of my favorites: the audio of Jacqueline Kennedy's interviews a few months after JFK's assassination, Tina Fey's Bossypants, and many a talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell.
    
    
29. Run a 5K. I did two 5Ks this year - Color Me Rad back in April, and then the Freedom Run in July - but health problems wiped me out from running and training as I'd hoped. Actually, it was when walking the color run left me flat on my back in bed for two days that I realized something was seriously wrong, healthwise. And now I'm fine! Really need to make this happen for the 30th year.
    
    
30. Channel my inner Annie Oakley. Nope, and I don't even have a good excuse other than a busy schedule and other priorities. Hopefully I can go shooting with my cousin this fall.

My Utah Bucket List

You know that frustrating situation in dating where, in theory, you and That One Person would be a great match, and you have fun together when you go out, but for whatever reason the chemistry just isn't igniting?

Well, that pretty much sums up my relationship with Utah for the last two years.

Somehow, no matter how many great things have stemmed from living in the 801—traveling up a storm, living within 30 minutes of many of my closest friends, dating amazing guys, getting out of debt, going to grad school, having a wonderful career with amazing colleagues, etc.—my feelings toward Utah continue to be tepid. We had a lovely summer, but things just haven't been clicking lately, cooling with the weather.

It's time to fall in love—and of the deep, intense, can't-imagine-life-without-you variety, since life is likely to keep me in Utah for keeps the longer I live here. And really, that would not be a bad thing. The more I get out and experience what makes Utah awesome, the less I pine for greener, more glamorous grass.

So, here are my Utah to-dos for 2012 (and beyond, since I know I won't finish these in a year!):

• Dine at the Serving Time/Hard Times Cafe - No joke, the state penitentiary right by my place has a cafe, and it actually has a 90% approval rating on Urbanspoon! Definitely gotta give this place a shot.
• Spend more time in downtown Salt Lake and Sugar House - Seriously, when I'm up there, I somehow feel way better about living in Utah. It's just a matter of making it happen. After all, I'm only 20 minutes away! That's closer than Disneyland was to my place in Orange County, and we went at least once a month on average.
• Learn to ski - Which I've started and... well... lesson #1 was a disaster. Here's hoping the next three are better.
• Tour de Temple - Wouldn't it be amazing to visit each of the 12 operating temples in Utah? I've always wanted to do this, but I'm finally going to make it happen (and preferably in time for my 30th birthday). Yesterday I started with Provo - one down, 11 to go!
• Play Twister at the Four Corners - Seriously. Tell me this would not be the coolest thing ever?! It's not just a Utah bucket lister. This is on my overall bucket list. Just gotta find a BYUite to rent the gigantic Twister board from the on-campus rental place in time for the trip...
• Hike the Narrows and/or the Subway - I am totally intrigued with this whole hiking-in-water concept. Both of these hikes sound just plain incredible, and after last summer's awesome hike, I'm itching to do more of the type that stretch me into new adventures.
• Visit Antelope Island at sunset and see the bison - Kind of a random one, but hey, why not? Same with seeing the spiral jetty and the Bonneville salt flats.
• Make the national parks loop: Bryce, Zion, Arches, Monument Valley, Moab - I've been to some of these, but it's been at least 20 years (well, except Zion, which was about 8 years ago). And it makes me a little sick to be able to say I did things like this 20 years ago. Anyways. It's about time to get out there again! 
• See a play the Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City and at Tuacahn - How I've never done either, I don't even know!
• See Timp Caves / Hike Mt. Timpanogos / Hike the Y (finally) - Again, super close and convenient, and yet I've never done these. Ridiculousness. Both hikes overlap with 30 by 30, so there's all the more incentive to get to it!
• Research in the Family History Library - After all, while my dad's family history work has pretty much been taken care of, my mom's side is all left to me, and all four of her grandparents were immigrants. I've done all the "low-hanging fruit" of family history work, so to speak, but I haven't a clue of how to dig into the next generations.
• Visit the new Natural History Museum - Love me some museum goodness. 
• Go curling at the Olympic Oval - Curling. Seriously. Most amusing Olympic sport out there, in my humble opinion. It's like bowling mixed with sweeping. Neither of which I particularly enjoy, honestly, but somehow combining them with ice just sounds too good to pass up.
• Stay at a houseboat on Lake Powell - Again, I've never done this, and isn't it just a typical must-do part of being a 20-something in Utah?
• Eat my way through all the restaurants on my list - I keep a sticky-note in my dayplanner of restaurant suggestions from friends, so whenever the opportunity comes up, I love trying these delicious places. Just in the last few months I've been to Finn's Cafe for a delightful brunch with my stepmom Betsy and her friend Lori, the amazing Thai place Sawadee, Lamb's Grill (which is the oldest still-operating restaurant in Utah!) with my friend Stacy, and the delightful bakery Gourmandise. Top picks to try sooner than later: Tarahumara in Midway and a bunch downtown (Bruges Belgium, Settebello, Bohemian Brewery, Copper Onion, and Atlantic Cafe, just to name a few).

And, lest you think I haven't done some living up in Utah so far, here are some things that would make the list, except I've already checked them off:

• Saw films at Sundance Film Festival
• Camped at Capitol Reef (although, admittedly, there's TONS more to see down there!)
• Sang on Temple Square
• Discovered Utah's local music scene
  

30 by 30: The 1/3 Update

Hard to believe it, but yesterday was the four-month mark since my birthday - which means there are only eight months left to make my 30 by 30 list a reality. How's the progress coming along? Well, I thought it was time for an update, so here's where we stand:

• #2: Visit five new states - I went to Georgia in October, so one down, four to go. Boston's up in the air, but I'm feeling strongly like Route 66 will be a go this year, so I'll start making actual plans for it soon. 
• #3: Go on 30 dates - Well, I've made it to 22, so just eight more to go. I think it's doable. Counting them seems silly, so I'll be glad to check this one off, honestly. It feels wrong to make each date a hash-mark on my way to making a goal, especially when some of these guys are just plain wonderful.
• #5: Attend the temple 30 times - Shoot! This one's tough, because I don't always jot down in my planner if I go, and I didn't think to start a hash-mark tally until now. So, from what I could count from my dayplanner, I've been eight times. I think it's more - I was going pretty much weekly from September through November, with some interruption from all the traveling I did in that time - but it's not like it'd be bad to go more than 30, so I'll start counting the next 22. Starting in January, I'm planning to do a session at each of the temples in Utah in 2012, of which there are 12 in operation - I'll try to get through as many of those as I can by my birthday. And for the record, I have come to love the Draper temple deeply, so check on that one!
• #6: Learn to ski - Four lessons booked at Alta, starting Jan. 21. I'm excited!

• #7: Drive Route 66 - See #2. When else will I have friends scattered literally all the way along the route? Chicago, St. Louis, Tulsa, Amarillo, Albuquerque, Sedona, and L.A., not to mention friends in Denver and Omaha for the drive from Utah to Chicago (I think I'd rather drive Lola than get a rental) - I'll only have to pay for a place to stay a handful of nights if I do it this year! So now the debate is timing. I'd wanted to go in the fall, so it'd be cooler, but I don't want to miss out on stuff that closes Labor Day, so... we'll see. Again, whether Boston happens and when will impact this trip's timing.

• #15: Read 30 books / #16: Read the Book of Mormon twice / #28: Make the most of my commute - At least five read so far, according to my Goodreads. Thank heavens audiobooks count! They're making my commute so enjoyable. I finished the Book of Mormon that way and got so much more out of it listening than I usually do reading. I'm a couple chapters into The Late Bloomer's Revolution and am LOVING it. I've got another five audiobooks from Audible to dive into after that one, too, including E.L. Doctorow's Ragtime, which I've wanted to read forever, David McCullough's 1776, and Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers.
• #21: Sing, sing, sing - I'm starting voice lessons in just a few days with my cousin Rob's friend Amanda, through Hale Center Theatre Orem. Pretty excited!
• #25: Give up the Diet Pepsi - This'll be a tough one, but I'm biting the bullet and giving it up with the advent of the new year tomorrow. I've got a detox drink a friend recommended (which is delish!) in lieu of the soda, and I've got PLENTY of ibuprofen on hand for the impending headaches. And, how perfect is this, but I've got one refill left on my soda punch card. Time to redeem that and be done.
• #27: Learn to poach an egg - DONE!!! Today I was feeling particularly culinary, so I not only poached an egg - I made Eggs Benedict, complete with from-scratch Hollandaise sauce and steamed asparagus. It was amazing! The egg wasn't nearly as hard as I'd expected, especially thanks to a handy-dandy video tutorial made just for me by my dear friend Emily.

The rest of them need some work, but I'll get there... eventually. At least I've made a good start, right?

30 By 30: Making the End of My 20s Count

So... this post is about two months overdue, but better late than never, right?

Thirty. 

Holy crepe. How on earth am I staring that milestone in the face?! Feels like just yesterday that I was too young to sit in the bar area of restaurants. My 20s have flow by in such a blur, and I can hardly believe they're nearly over!

Then again, when people in my ward barely graduated from high school... and when my friends are all pretty much done birthing their babies... well... the reality of my age catches up to me. And it isn't a bad thing, either. Besides those occasional moments when I want to run screaming down the hall, I'm pretty much okay with owning my almost-30 status.

Still, ending my 20s is no small feat, and I want to do it well. And so, in no particular order, here are 30 things I hope to accomplish in the next 308 days (some of which are already in progress):

1. Become a "True Aggie." Preferably at the hands... er, lips... of someone who isn't some random stranger.
   
   
2. Visit five new states. And since this goes retroactively to my birthday, Georgia counts - so I've got four to go. If Route 66 happens, then I'll knock out Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Texas. I'm also considering a Spring Break trip to Boston, and I could tack on a road trip around New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine. So stinkin' excited.
   
   
3. Go on 30 dates. Again, if we date this back to my birthday, I've gone on six so far. But I'm really going back to the beginning of 2011, which puts me at 16 so far. I think I can swing 14 dates in 10 months. I hope.
   
   
4. Become my authentic self. Years ago, my friend Kaylynn wrote a blogpost about becoming her authentic self. That post has haunted me ever since! I wondered what that even meant - and what it would feel like to peel off the layers of self-protecting barriers and be completely comfortable in my skin. I'm getting danged close, and it is the most empowering thing ever! I'm not sure that this process ever really ends, but I'd like to make it a high priority. Dr. Brene Brown has some great stuff on this topic, if you're interested.
   
   
5. Attend the temple at least 30 times.
   
   
   And as a part of that, I'm trying to make the Draper temple my temple of choice (Provo's where I usually go - part sentimentality, part habit). I'd love to feel as connected to the Draper temple as I still do to Newport Beach.
   
   
6. Learn to ski. This will be my ninth winter in Utah, and I've never tried skiing. Ridiculous. Time to start!
   
   
7. Drive Route 66. Finally. This is the time!!!
   
   
   
   
8. Go on a cruise with my best friends. Perhaps we can make it a joint "We're all turning 30!" celebration!
   
   
9. Be debt-free. I'm sooooo clooooooose...
   
   
10. Sew what? I have a sewing machine, but that doesn't mean I know how to sew. Unless there's a proficient seamstress nearby to help me with the bobbin and all that nonsense, I'm hopeless. At the very least, I would love to turn the quilt blocks we made for a friendship quilt in my San Clemente singles ward into a bonafide quilt. And finish those baby quilts I started for Primary Children's Hospital in the spring. (Sorry, Caron!!! I know I'm a slacker!!!)
    
    
11. Get at least one really, really good kiss. Like, of the foot-popping variety.
    
    
12. Hike Mt. Washburn.
    
    
    My poor father pushed us to do this when I was 10, and I whined the entire way up... until I realized how awesome it was that I climbed a freakin' mountain, and I skipped the rest of the way down. For years I've been wanting to go back and do this hike in Yellowstone again, sans the whining. And speaking of hiking...
    
    
13. Hike the Y. Since I'm ashamed that I never got around to this as a BYU student.
    
    
14. Hike Timp. I work at the base of this stunningly gorgeous mountain yet have never attempted to climb it. Again, ridiculousness. This must happen.
    
    
15. Read 30 books. Since we're doing the 30 theme. And textbooks totally count, because 30 is a lot! That's three a month from here on out.
    
    
16. Finish the Book of Mormon twice. And one of those times will be by Christmas, thanks to my stake challenge (that I'm woefully and pathetically hundreds of pages behind on... yikes!).
    
    
17. Get starstruck.
    
    
    And no, I'm not talking about celebrities. I've always been fascinated by stars, but I've never taken the time or made the effort to really learn astronomy or even name many constellations. Definitely a goal worth pursuing.
    
    
18. Lose 30 pounds. Again, with the 30 thing. I'd actually like to go beyond that, but I'd be happy with this. Honestly, it's more pragmatic than cosmetic. Everyone says that your metabolism hits a wall at 30. It's going to be a heck of a lot easier to reach my goal and fight to maintain it than to fight to get there after 30.
    
    
19. Make time to WRITE.
    
    
    And I'm not talking blogging or creating content for pay. I'm talking writing from my heart, putting the proverbial pen to paper and telling stories that keep knocking around in my brain. I'm in a writer's group, so that accountability should help. (Thanks, Rachel!)
    
    
20. Just dance. Dancing feeds my soul, and I can tell the difference in my overall life when I'm dancing and not. Same thing for exercise in general, but dance is definitely my workout of choice. There's a killer ballet-fitness class in Lehi I went to a few times and LOVE - again, just gotta make it a priority. I need to be dancing at least once a week, whether it's a class or just a rock-out session in my bedroom.
    
    
21. Sing, sing, sing. Along the same lines, singing and music bring more joy to my heart than just about anything else. So I'm planning to start voice lessons in January - already have an amazing teacher lined up, soooo excited!!! - and I'd like to get my voice beyond the awesome shape it was in while in OCMCO (which was the peak of my personal vocal performance as far as technique and timbre go).
    
    
22. Put my clothes away in the closet, not on the floor. Harder than it sounds, people. Harder than it sounds.
    
    
23. Reinstate "Christa Dates." I know it sounds so New Age-y, but there's sooooo much value in getting time alone to ponder and just breathe sans pressure or company. In college, I was good about setting aside Friday nights for me time, but these days it's rare. In fact, I blame my snoozing addiction on this. That quiet time before I'm out of bed seems to be the only time I get to myself all day, but indulging in snoozing just makes me start the day rushed. Quality alone time should supplant the snooze. In fact...
    
    
24. Stop snoozing. See above. Addictive! And speaking of addictions...
    
    
25. Give up the Diet Pepsi once and for all. And that goes for all soda, caffeinated or not. Why must flavored, carbonated chemicals be so tasty (but so unhealthy)?! WHY?! Curse you, soda!
    
    
26. Write in my journal weekly. Or at least a few times a month. I tend to blog more than journal, but I also filter what goes on the blog (shocking, right?). So there's a lot of real stuff that doesn't get recorded that should. Although my journals do make for an entertaining read of my dating history, since I somehow manage to get that written down every time. *sigh* Ridiculous girl.
    
    
27. Learn to poach an egg.
    
    
    Eggs Benedict is sooooo my favorite breakfast EVER, largely because of the buttery goodness of the poached egg. However, that's one cooking technique that intimidates me like no other. I've conquered my abject fear of pie crusts (thanks, Mishy!!!) - it's time to take on the poached egg.
    
    
28. Make the most of my commute. I loooooove music, so I'd much rather tune out to some tunes on the drive home than listen to spoken word. However, I'm spending at least 5-10 hours in my car each week. Just think of all the spiritual nourishment I could digest if I spent at least a few of those drives listening to BYU devotionals, General Conference talks, etc.?!
    
    
29. Run a 5K. And I mean actually run it this time. None of that sissy walking because I woke up on race day with legs made of cement. I still hate running, but I can appreciate its health benefits. And maybe if I persist at it, I'll actually grow to love it.
    
    
30. Channel my inner Annie Oakley.
    
    
    I'd love to be the kind of woman who is as proficient on the shooting range as she is in the kitchen. Gotta know how to protect myself, after all. The zombies might really come!!!
    

Whew! Do I ever have my work cut out for me or what?! Should be a fun year, though. And if anyone wants to join me on some of these goals (i.e. traveling, hiking, shooting, running, dancing, etc.), let me know!