Rearranging the proverbial bookshelf

*Not my actual bedroom - but I did install the medium lantern in my place. It's lovely!

You know that old adage that "the only constant is change"?

Well, I'm finding it to be all too true - and I don't think I like it.

As noted before embarking on my post-Christmas Utah road trip, I love my life. I've hit this point where I'm the happiest I've ever been, and where everything just seemed wonderful.

But coming home from vacation, somehow, everything's different.

A fair handful of things have actually changed. My married roommate called while I was in Utah to announce that she and her hubby are moving out Jan. 10. While this totally needed to happen, the decision was sudden and unexpected, and now I have no clue who's going to take the bedroom next to me for the rest of our contract, which runs through Halloween. She's listed our place on Craigslist, but I don't want just some random stranger in my home! There was the thought of Dawn (the other one) and me moving to a two-bedroom place, but moving is such a beast. I own a piano and a refrigerator. A while ago I said that I basically have no intention of moving out of my apartment until I get married, and I mean it - so we're staying put, but it's been a stressful week home on that front.

Yesterday I came back to work and got the news that my supervisor got a new job and is leaving us. He's an old college friend, and so, honestly, I won't miss that weird dynamic of having a good friend for a boss - but I'll miss working with him, and it also makes for more uncertainty at the office. This means that the No. 3 and 4 guys at the company will have left within one month, which leaves a gaping hole. It's funny - I came to this job hoping to escape the constant layoffs and staffing changes at the Register, but we've had so many changes in the six months I've been here, it makes my head spin. My job's secure, but, well, change is always a little unsettling.

And adding to this tempest of change are changing dynamics in friendships and relationships all around me. Seeing so many of my dearest friends in Utah was wonderful - absolutely and completely wonderful. But leaving them and returning to normal life is always a little difficult. I'm trying so hard to love my career-girl phase of life, but seeing so many of my happily married friends and their little families really makes me feel like I'm missing something, like a huge chunk of my life is incomplete, and there's really nothing I can do about it. The life I have is great and all, don't get me wrong. It just feels a little... hollow. So I'll keep making the most of it until that right person crosses my path, I guess, because I am so done with being into guys who just aren't into me (thank you, He's Just Not That Into You!)... but I hate that feeling that there's so much out there for me, but I just can't have it yet.

And, although this isn't the end of the world, I did give up caffeine for the new year. I'm on my fifth day of being Diet Pepsi-free, which means I'm past the worst (it takes five days to completely get caffeine out of your system). Dawn thinks the withdrawal has contributed to my testiness - and she may well be right, I don't know. All I can say is I can't imagine breaking a real addiction like crack or nicotine. That would be horrendous!!! Thank goodness for the Word of Wisdom!

So, to combat the helpless feeling that comes when circumstances beyond my control affect my life, I'm doing what any sane person would do: reorganizing my room. It's delightful. It's still in the process toward perfection, but I promise to post pictures when I'm done. Last night I hung a big Chinese lantern from my ceiling, and it's absolutely marvelous! I've only had lamps for the last few years and always hated how dim my room was. Now it's light and cheery and wonderful. Tonight I'll assemble my new desk chair (my current one broke over a year ago, but I've just rolled with it), hang my new necklace rack, shuffle through mountains of paper, and eventually my room will be organized up the yin-yang.

Blame it on my Virgo nature or my Type A-ness, but I get such satisfaction about organizing everything - especially when the space in which I'm dealing is so tight. It makes me feel like despite the swirling changes beyond my control, I can, in fact, make a difference and create a happy little place in my corner of the world. I can't control people or circumstances, but at least I can control my bedroom, right?

On another note, I am LOVING Ingrid Michaelson right now! She's been a favorite of mine for a year-plus, but I downloaded her sophomore album, "Be OK," right before leaving to Utah, and it's fantastic! So, for your viewing and listening pleasure, I'm embedding a YouTube clip of "The Chain," one of my fav songs. The singing starts around 0:45, so hang in there for that first minute of chatting. I love it, 'cause it shows off her personality. Some friends and I saw Ingrid at the Anaheim House of Blues in November, and she's just darling! I'm sure we'd be BFFs if we ever got to hang out.